Brooke

I was just thinking... the one year mark of my grandfather's death is coming up in July...I plan on going to Louisiana and spending it with my family there. I've come a long way from just a few months ago...I find it easier to cope with and accept it now...but I still miss him more than ever but I know he's happy up there... :)

When I get where I'm going
on the far side of the sky.
The first thing that I'm gonna do
Is spread my wings and fly.

I'm gonna land beside a lion,
and run my fingers through his mane.
Or I might find out what it's like
To ride a drop of rain

Yeah when I get where I'm going,
there'll be only happy tears.
I will shed the sins and struggles,
I have carried all these years.
And I'll leave my heart wide open,
I will love and have no fear.
Yeah when I get where I'm going,
Don't cry for me down here.

I'm gonna walk with my grandaddy,
and he'll match me step for step,
and I'll tell him how I missed him,
every minute since he left.
Then I'll hug his neck.

So much pain and so much darkness,
in this world we stumble through.
All these questions, I can't answer,
so much work to do.

But when I get where I'm going,
and I see my Maker's face.
I'll stand forever in the light,
of His amazing grace.
Yeah when I get where I'm going,
Yeah when I get where I'm going,
there'll be only happy tears.
Hallelujah!
I will love and have no fear.
When I get where I'm going.
Yeah when I get where I'm going.

I'm posting via sidekick.
first cellular device posting ever...get excited.
This next week & a half is going to be the best, but worst week of my life.
I'm basically going to be done with school, cept for one research paper class in the summer.
Oh boyy!
Then I'll be working for a week or so...then off to jamaica mon...I can't wait!
I'm still debating on graduation presents...hmmmm


R.I.P. Mrs. Work. My prayers go out to the Work family during this tough time.

I want to be rich one day and if I don't feel like going to work, I don't have to.

I hate not being able to do what I want with the day, but that's life.

Off to work, or something.

So I was in Highland Village today and decided to go into the pet adoption center.

It made me really sad, like I felt like I was going to actually cry. I've never really been that way, but so many cute dogs without homes really got to me for some reason. I was happy to see that tons of people were adopting them, but then what about the others still sitting in their cage waiting? I wish I had my own house so I could adopt a few of them...*sigh*

Ahh, I'm sucha puss, I've always loved dogs, but I think I've developed a whole new love for all dogs if this had such a big effect on me...

So, next week I'll be 23.

Can the years slow down a bit? THX.


Anyways, celebrating my birthday party at a BAR this year. I'm hoping a lot of people will come...we'll see.

I'm taking a moment out of my OH SO BUSY life to say that I love my life and appreciate everyone and everything in it. I am truly blessed.

THANKS to all who are a part of my life and keep me goin'...

I've been thinking back to my middle east days a lot lately. Well actually, not lately, more like I always have. I seriously don't remember a time when I was unhappy there. Everyone I encountered was amazing (at the time) and every day was an adventure. I miss camping in the desert more than anything. There is something so peaceful about endless amounts of sand dunes and no other form of human life in sight except you and the people you came with. There's something about pissing and shitting in the sand that surprisingly felt normal. (haha)

I always catch myself reminiscing about times when I was truly happy. I can even imagine myself how I was and how I felt in that point in time, then I come back to reality and feel somewhat disappointed. I don't feel unhappy now, but maybe there is something I'm missing in my life and I have yet to find out what that might be.

I can honestly say that I really have changed this year.

I used to always be worried about people being mad at me or disliking me, etc. but now I can truly give a fuck less. I'm so tired of wasting my breath or apologizing for something that doesn't even matter/not my fault/etc.
If you have a problem with me, GOOD! Because I don't care. I don't care if I lose a friend over something stupid, because they obviously weren't meant to be your friend in the first place if that's the case. People shouldn't take shit so seriously. Overly sensitive people bother me. There's a point where it's okay to be sensitive, but once you go past the line it's just outright ridiculous.

Something else that I would love to punch someone in the uterus over would be when people try to throw things in my face. If you truly know me as a person, you will know that I don't look down on anyone for any reason. I am friends with whoever as long as they don't rub me the wrong way or weird me out too much. For someone to throw in my face that I am "wealthy" or my parents supposively give me "everything" really pisses me off...to the point where if you honestly think this, don't bother speaking to me again. I've worked since I was 15 years old. I do things that my parents want me to do, for the most part. If you think I'm stuck up, greedy, stereotypical, etc. you're an idiot. If you try to justify this in any other way other than what I've just stated, you fail.

Back in the day, maybe it was "cool" to have drama or pick fights, but I'm into easy-going, drama free life these days. I have enough on my back, enough stress in my life from school and work to even think about negativity in my personal life. So when someone decides to stir up some mindless bullshit, it gets me going real bad and I think that's what triggered me into changing my thought process. Instead of me sitting here, worrying if things are going to be right again(as I used to do)...I rather just drop that person overall. Am I crazy or is that legit?

It was a long 2 days without power.

RESULTS:

-appreciation for electricity x10
-a fat zit on my chin from NO AC.
-new found love for gas stations & all restaurants.

So I have 2 semesters left of school, which really weirds me out. I know it'll fly by and I'll miss it buuuut I am ready to take the step up in my life and start living on my own FOR REAL.

I'm so stoked that Hoedown is happening again this year, because it was close to being called off. So come November, DALLAS/PLANO here we come!

I still miss my grandfather every day it seems. These days, I find myself staring off into the sky more and thinking of him, thinking to myself.. he is up here and trying to find a sign in the clouds that I perceive as him looking down at me.

it's still hard to believe that he's gone.
i'm not good with coping with things or something,
but oddly enough, I feel as if he's still here....
Maybe not in the same exact way, but I swear he's still here with me

He's still hanging on, but not for much longer.

I can't hide it or deny it; I'm gonna miss him more than words can say.

My eyes are tired and I'm an emotional wreck...along with everyone else.

I just want to know if everything's going to be alright in the end.

I don't know why, but I can't force myself to have any faith whatsoever right now.

Seeing my grandfather in his state just made me lose all hope.

I know everyone dies sooner or later, but I'm not ready for him to go and I don't know if I will be.

Why can't time just stop? Why can't we live in a moment forever? WHY DOES EVERYTHING YOU LOVE HAVE TO BE TAKEN AWAY FROM YOU EVENTUALLY? It's not fucking fair.

It's so strange when one day he is walking around and making jokes, and the next he is too weak to do anything.

I feel so bad for my grandma too. She has been sticking by his side at the hospital, but I can tell in her eyes she knows he's fading faster every day and there's nothing she or anyone can really do...

Oh and I hate the smell of hospitals.

My eyes burn from the tears. I want a damn miracle. I just want him to be okay again. That's all I ask.


'why ya crying girl?'

tomorrow is my dad's bday, saturday is my niece's bday, sunday is mother's day...and i haven't gotten shit for either yet. i need to get on that asap.

as for school, i am done til june something...and i have all B's so far; still waiting on one more grade. (woot)

i want to lose some weight before thursday, but that ain't happening..

i missed grey's anatomy tonight. hooray for full episodes online.

i'm working all day tomorrow, exercising, then hitting the bars. I NEED IT!


*We like to think that we are rational beings; humane, conscientious, civilized, thoughtful. But when things fall apart, even just a little, it becomes clear we are not better than animals. We have opposable thumbs, we think, we walk erect, we speak, we dream, but deep down we are still routing around in the primordial ooze; biting, clawing, scratching out an existence in the cold, dark world like the rest of the tree-toads and sloths*

i think i'm gonna start back up with the ol' livejournal, cause sometimes i miss it.
i have a hard time remembering some things and livejournal has always been there to refresh my shitty ass memory.

Anyways, an update on my life:

-Roger & I had our 4 year anniversary on April 14th.
-I graduate in May 09 if all goes well. (Major-Management; Minor-Marketing/Entrepenuership)
-I'm going to Jamaica in 10 days.
-I'm in love with SMART WATER.
-Harley is all growed up...well, almost. I still have to get her spaded.
-My grandparent's are having a wedding anniversary party soon that's supposed to be off the chain. They think it's my grandpa's last year to be alive. :\
-I haven't skated much lately, and I'd really like to get back into the groove.
-My bar buddy left me to go back to England. (Damn you CHRISTOPHER!)
-I still need to try pizza hut's tuscani pastas.
-I am not looking forward to summer school + work this summer.
-I just purchased a new lens for my camera and hoping it will come in before I leave for Jamaica. (sigma 10mm fisheye)


Life is good right now.


"TOO BLESSED TO BE STRESSED"

you can get loose, but watch my shoes!!!!!!!!!!@!@!@!@@

I need to start writing in this again so I can keep up with my life and look back on it later.
Yuhhh.

school is almost over and i couldn't be happier.

although, i am taking summer school 3 this summer, but that shouldn't be too bad. i have to declare my major soon as well. [from pre-business to accounting]

i have an interview at a new temporary staffing agency on Monday, so i hope that goes well.

my apt lease is up in july and my roomate is moving out to a cheaper apt, and i'm really hoping jesika qualifies to live here, because that would be some good fun.

life is good, can't wait for summer, to work, get some spending money, switch to t-mobile & get my sk3, tan, beach, party,...you know, all the good stuff :)

HELLO JOURNAL LIVE!
I can't believe I haven't wrote in this since December. It used to be life, now myspace has taken over! haha. Just kidding.
Umm, I didn't go anywhere for Spring Break, but I still had a good time.
Brandan came in town which was neato..and we partied it up for St. Pattys Day.
I'm still pooping green from that dyed beer. WERDDD.
Oh yah, I got a hamster. Her name is Hammy..go figuree..and she's a dwarf hamster so she stays small and she's adorable. She's weird tho, she sleeps, eats, and potties in her wheel at the top of her house. Oh well, whatever floats her boat.
I'm cleaning up my apt and about to start homework and studying..this week is gonna blow ass. CHEERS!

So, I think livejournal is officially dead..haha.
Well, atleast mine is. I never write in the shit, unless I'm really, really bored.

I just painted my finger and toe nails a metallic 'royal ruby' color. I haven't done that in who knows how long.
I got an early Christmas present..my iMac, and I'm pretty much addicted to it.
I'm going to Louisiana for 2 days soon. Haven't been there since like January? or maybe I'm trippin', but I think that's the last time I've been there. I can legally go to the bars in wonderful Thibodeaux with my sister now! hah. Being 21 is just great.
I've been playing a lot of pool lately and winning money against random people at pool halls. It's NICE! and once I get even better, I can boost up the bets hah.
CHA CHA CHAAA
I like JT! Kinda sad, but he's got some good stuff..
What else..
I'm walkin on a wireeeeeeee
uhhhh
Oh yeah, this weather is f-in gay! It's all hot and nasty. I miss that cold weather fosho. So much for snow this year.
alright, I'm outt.